The following is an excerpt from the TEDx Delthorne Women Talk “How More Walking Leads to Less Loneliness” by Joyce Shulman. You can view the full talk here.
My son was born on a cold January night. What started as a very typical labor became an emergency c-section complete with plummeting heart rate—his, a missed epidural—mine, and a moment when they thought they left a sponge someplace it wasn’t supposed to be.
We were released from the hospital four days later and I returned home battered, postpartum, and totally freaked out.
Other than a couple of doctors’ appointments and one slightly traumatic trip with my mother to buy nursing bras, I didn’t leave the house for a month. And my husband and I? Hanging on by a thread. We were co-parenting, but not connecting.
Then one morning, we woke up to bright brilliant sunshine, a rarity in NY in February. We bundled the baby up, placed him carefully in the stroller, and we went for a walk. I can still feel the handle of the stroller, the sun on my face and picture the hideous yellow maternity jacket which was still the only thing that fit. And I vividly recall looking at my husband and saying “We can do this.”
And that was the turning point.
Now, that wasn’t the first time that walking has saved me, nor will it be the last.
In college, I lost more than 30 pounds walking. On a hiking trip with ten people in British Columbia, I developed the idea that would be our first truly successful business. And during hundreds of hours spent walking with friends, we have talked about everything—and I mean everything—from kids, to work, to politics, to relationships to, well, everything.
I have solved more problems, shaken off more stress, created more ideas and lost more weight walking than through any other practice or habit. It has kept me sane, fit, and healthy.
Now some of this doesn’t come as a surprise. We all know that walking is good for your body. Walking can reduce your risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes, dementia and several types of cancer. In fact, walking is so powerful that one study has shown that a daily walking practice can add up to seven years to your life.
Most of us have heard that walking can help combat depression and boost our mood, and it can improve our decision making ability and fuel our creativity. But there’s one last piece of the puzzle and that is this: what walking with other people can do for you.
In 2018, we undertook a study of 2,300 women that revealed a startling fact: 73% of us experience loneliness. If you are one of them, you are hardly alone. And according to a study reported by UC Berkeley, 1 in 4 Americans feel like they don’t have a single close friend in the world.
Women are lonely.
Now, maybe that’s not that startling—there’s been a lot written recently about the loneliness epidemic and loneliness is very, very bad for us. In fact, earlier this year the surgeon general said, “loneliness and weak social connections are associated with a reduction in lifespan similar to that caused by smoking 15 cigarettes a day.”
But in our study, we discovered another fact, one that set us on a journey to find ways to get more women up, together and walking and that is this: women who “regularly walk with friends” report that they are two-and-a-half times LESS likely to often feel lonely. 2.5 times.
That’s the power of walking together.
Why is that? Why is walking together so powerful?
I believe it is a function of three things—all three grounded in science and how we, as human beings, are built.
First, we are social beings and we are wired to crave—and enjoy—shared experiences. Researchers believe that this comes directly from our biological need to belong. A fascinating study from Yale University found that sharing an experience with another person amplifies our perception of that experience.
The study was pretty simple and it involved chocolate, so that’s good right? They divided people into two groups and had them taste a piece of chocolate. But here was the difference: in one group, the people were paired up and tasted the chocolate at the same time as their partner, while in the other group each person tasted the chocolate while their partner was looking at a book. Yup, you guessed, the people who tasted the chocolate at the same time rated the chocolate better tasting.
Simply put, you are wired to enjoy that walk, and remember it more fondly, when you take that walk with a friend.
Second, walking increases levels of oxytocin—a hormone that heightens our ability to empathize and feel emotions. Research suggests that oxytocin relaxes us, fires up our desire for kinship, makes us care about other people and encourages us to work together and collaborate.
Third, tons of research shows that our brains process differently when we are walking. Because part of our brain is occupied putting one foot in front of the other, the rest of our brain is free to roam, to problem solve, think more deeply, take the moments of quiet to process. Imagine how awkward 30 seconds of silence would be sitting across from someone at a coffee shop. But when you are walking together, you can take those moments of quiet and give yourself the chance to think, and connect, more deeply.
Walking also increases our ability to think creatively and, I believe, this encourages our walking conversations to be less linear, more creative, enabling us to follow the thread of a conversation wherever it leads.
Simply put, walking together provides the perfect environment for conversation and connection. It offers time and space, free of distractions. It gives us the increased pleasure that comes from sharing an experience. It delivers a blast of oxytocin that encourage us to connect with one another. And it enables our brains to work at their best.
In 2019, I started a movement called 99 Walks with a simple mission: to get a million women up, together and walking. Because together, we can help build community, improve women’s wellbeing and help combat loneliness. All by lacing up our sneakers and heading out the door. Together. You guys, we can do this.
I’m Joyce Shulman and I’m on a mission to get a million women walking.
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