The Power of "Yet"

The “growth mindset” has swept the world of everything from parenting and education to professional development and preschool over the past several years. 

The concept was first articulated -- and the phrase first coined -- by researcher Carol Dweck thirty years ago. Dweck had studied the behavior of thousands of children and discovered that those children who believed that they can get smarter were the ones who did the work to achieve more -- which reinforced their belief that they could learn and achieve, which reinforced their willingness to do the work in a positive, self-perpetuating cycle. Conversely, those children who believed that their capabilities and talents were fixed and therefore limited were more likely to get frustrated and give up. 

Putting it another way, having a growth mindset means believing that you have the power to learn, grow and improve at just about everything and research shows that simply holding that belief empowers you to learn, grow and improve.

Okay, sure, some people have more innate talent at some things than other things. If you are 4’ 11” a career as a professional women’s basketball player is likely not in your future and if, like me, you can’t carry a tune, opera is probably not where you will make your mark in the world.

But pretty much all skills can be developed, all things can be learned and -- with enough desire, dedication and grit -- most things can be mastered.

This is awesome because evolution has wired a desire to learn into our DNA. That is clear from the little spark of joy we get when we master a new skill, learn a new trick or accomplish a goal. And yet as adults, we often stop our journey. Perhaps it is because we were told as children that we were no good at something. Perhaps it is because we believe that, as adults, we are supposed to have the answers. Perhaps it is because we don’t dedicate time to learning and developing new skills.

Yet so essential is it to continue to grow and learn that research has shown that people who continue to learn throughout their lives live longer. Yup, learning new skills throughout your life will literally prolong your life.

In my work with women, I remain shocked by the sheer number of times I hear women say “I’m not good at X.” Interestingly, it is not something you hear from men, though I suppose that’s a topic for another day. Anyway, every time you say “I’m not good at X” you are cutting yourself off from possibility. 

There is a simple way for you to begin to develop a growth mindset. Simply add the word “yet” to the end of any sentence or thought you have that begins with “I’m not good at ….” or “I can’t do…”

“I’m not good at cooking … yet.”

“I’m not good at writing … yet.”

“I’m not good at sales … yet.”

“I’m not good at double unders … yet.”

Yet. Who knew it could be so powerful?