At a conference over a decade ago, I had the chance to hear Lisa Quinn, author of Life is Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets, share her journey from perfectionist to, well, not a perfectionist. And she said something that has stayed with me for almost 14 years: "Making memories is messy."
Oh, how I've come back to that thought time and again, as my kids trash the kitchen making brownies, my dog tracks mud into the living room, and the floor of my car becomes covered with sand.
Making memories is messy.
I've always been fascinated by memories. Why is it that some things get encoded into our brains while other things don't? How is it that two people can experience the same thing yet remember it so differently? Why do we remember the highs and the lows but not the beautiful everyday experiences that make up the vast, vast majority of our lives? And, perhaps the most existential of them all … without our memories, are we really us?
So I dug deep into the research around how memories are made to understand better how to make more of them and hold on to the ones I've got. Here's what I learned
Memory has been called the unseen architect of our lives. It weaves together the threads of our experiences, emotions, and knowledge, and its formation combines neuroscience, psychology, and the mysteries of the mind.
Encoding: Turning Experience into Code
The journey of memory creation begins with encoding, the process of converting sensory input into a form that the brain can store. Any of our senses can deliver input that can create a memory, including sight, sound, taste, smell, or touch.
Whether or not an experience has the potential to become encoded as a memory can be influenced by attention and focus. Simply being present and truly paying attention to the specific details of the experience can help our brains encode it into memories.
Storage: Finding a Home for Memories
Once encoded, memories need a place to reside. They find refuge in different areas of the brain, with the hippocampus playing a crucial role in helping the brain encode and store memories. And remember, the hippocampus is one of the critical parts of the brain that research has shown is positively impacted by walking – thus, more walking means better memory.
Retrieval: Unearthing the Past
Retrieving a memory is like pulling a book off a shelf in the library of your mind. Memories are brought back into conscious awareness when triggered by cues, such as sights, sounds, smells, or emotions.
Successful retrieval relies on the strength of the neural connections formed during encoding and storage, so if you really want to remember something for a long time, mentally revisit the memory regularly.
Factors Influencing Memory Formation
Emotions: Emotions wield considerable influence over memory formation. Events infused with strong emotions, whether positive or negative, tend to be remembered more vividly. This is the answer to my question of why we remember significant events more readily than the mundane of daily life, even though that day-to-day is actually the real stuff of our lives.
Association and Context: Memories are often interconnected, forming a web of associations. We remember better when we link new information to existing knowledge or experiences. Similarly, mnemonic devices and memory aids that encourage us to use associations or patterns to facilitate recall capitalize on our brain's natural inclination for connecting pieces of information.
Sleep: The Memory Rejuvenator: The role of sleep in memory formation is profound. During sleep, the brain consolidates and organizes memories, transferring them from the hippocampus to the neocortex for long-term storage. Both the quantity and quality of sleep play vital roles in this process. And remember – your regular walking practice is good for both the quantity and quality of your sleep.
Memory and Forgetting
Not all memories are created equal, and not all are destined to be retained. The brain engages in a constant process of filtering and sorting information, determining what is worth remembering and what can be forgotten. The phenomenon of forgetting is not necessarily a failure of memory but a natural outcome of this selective process. Memories that are not reinforced over time may fade, making room for new information. So remember to regularly revisit the memories you want to hold on to.
Conclusion
Like so much of how we live our lives, the formation and maintenance of our memories is more within our control than we often think. By being present. Paying attention. Walking regularly. Sleeping soundly. And regularly revisiting the memories that we want to hold on to.
This December, let's make memories.