I remember the day we added our puppy, Moose, to our family. He was eight pounds of puppy love. The exuberance, energy, and joy that that little bundle of fur invested in each day is a marvel. Puppies play all the time. At least, when they aren’t sleeping. Or eating.
As parents, we recognize the importance of play for our kids. It is how they learn, have fun, blow off steam and develop skills.
As adults, we don’t play enough.
Why don't we play more? Because society tells us that play is wasteful and that we should be spending time on more productive pursuits. Schools have scheduled test prep in lieu of recess and converted after-school sports into the competitive pursuit of medals and college scholarships. Businesses focus on the output, the numbers and lose sight of the fun. And, we have packed our days with obligations, overloaded our to-do lists and overcommitted ourselves.
Many of us have simply forgotten what play looks and feels like. Play is the stuff we do because we want to. Not the myriad of things we do that are a "means to an end," but the things we do just because we want to. Play is the act of doing something fun, just for the sake of fun. Play doesn’t check anything off your list and, at least on paper, doesn’t look like it is helping you achieve your goals.
But it is. A growing body of research is proving that play is mission-critical. Play is critical to creativity and critical thinking. According to research cited in Essentialism by Greg McKeown, play: (1) broadens the array of options we see when we confront a situation; (2) is a proven antidote to stress; and (3) has a positive impact on our brain's executive functions -- those parts of our brain that enable us to plan, prioritize, schedule, delegate and make decisions.
Besides, play is fun. And we are entitled to more fun in our lives.
The first step is figuring out play looks like for you and making time for it. Me? I play on a ski slope, in an ocean, on a hiking trail or in front of a chessboard with my son.
For you, play is probably something different. Perhaps you play by painting, or gardening or running marathons. Maybe play looks like quilting or spending an afternoon in a museum or having a water balloon fight with your five-year-old granddaughter. It could be that play is exploring a European city or reading a book in the hammock in your backyard.
There are two kinds of play: planned play and spontaneous play. You need both in your life.
Planned play is play that you need to prioritize and schedule in advance. You have to buy those theater tickets and hire a babysitter. You need to schedule the time off and begin saving now for a future vacation. Planned play is important and requires that you prioritize those bigger goals, dreams and desires.
Here’s a conversation that has played out (no pun intended) in my house so many times over the years that I can barely count them.
Me: I’m so burned out, I’ve been working so hard, I need a few days to do something fun.
Husband (because he’s awesome): you should plan something.
Me: I’m just too busy, I can’t take time off right now.
Him: So plan something for a few months from now, just do it and put it on your calendar.
Me: But I’m burned out now (likely delivered with a little bit of a whine).
Him: Well, chances are pretty good that you’ll need the time then, too, so you just need to plan it.
He’s right. Time off, vacations, adventures … those things need to be prioritized and planned.
Spontaneous play arises from opportunities that present themselves during the course of the day. When a friend calls and says “let’s go paddleboarding” and you jump in your car and go, or when your five-year-old asks to go to the park, you swing on the swings beside him instead of sitting on the bench watching. They are the days when school is canceled and instead of railing against the universe about all you had planned to do that day, you bundle up and build a snowman. They are the times when you say “yes” instead of “no” even when there is work to be done, dishes to be washed and deadlines to be met.
You need both of these kinds of play in your life because more play will likely make you happier, more relaxed and, ultimately, more productive.
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